Who said it was an identity? Your IP address is the beginning and end of how anyone on the internet knows where information is coming from or where to send information to. The analogy fits more so than anything else you could come up with. If 'partially incorrect' analogies were excluded, there would be no way to ELI5 this.

so you think blaming one person for a single IP is valid? anyone in the house uses the same IP via NAT.

I'm aware there are other methods. I wanted to keep this in the realm of ELI5. I suppose my post would be strictly better if it at least mentioned there were other methods beyond VPNs, so I'll concede a half point to you, but only a half because your tone is one of someone trying to appear smart rather than someone trying to enlighten people.

refer to to the rules of ELI5, you do not have to explain as if someone was literally 5, only to a layperson.

by virtue of being a VPN the company is by default doing a MItMA. That's a huge reach.

You clearly havent researched how many "no-logging" VPN's actually log. take a quick look and see it's everyone.

If you really want to get your points across, I advise against announcing you want to argue.

what? makes no sense, please argue more as you already have

Dialogs are discussions that have no opponents who's goal is to reach a mutual understanding.

I'm not trying to dialogue with someone who does not understand the topics I'm literally employed to understand. Please continue, this is fun!