I don’t know anything about this situation but his choices were his choices and he chose to use defence mechanisms that abused this woman without his conscious knowledge; although, I want to emphasise that this is no attempt to excuse his behaviour at all because it is wrong.

However, it’s important to recognise that “hurt people hurt people” and this should highlight just how important LGBT integration and acceptance are for everyone, so that we can avoid raising gay and bisexual men who feel powerless and enraged, hate themselves for years, enough to abuse or even kill other people. This is why gay children should not be raised in hate. He’s most likely giving what he’s gotten for years not knowing or admitting just how wrong it was. Maybe this will help some people empathise but not forgive as she will be the one to do that.