I hear you. I have an aunt whom I love, and I get that while I was growing up she was raising seven kids and going through a divorce, but it still makes me feel hurt that she seemingly never spoke up to my mother about her treatment of us, and makes excuses for her to this day.

I was talking to her recently about my mother's tendency to play the victim and she was like, 'In fairness, everyone gangs up on her.' No they don't! Once in a while someone (usually my sister) will call her out on her behaviour and she will run to my aunt, claiming that she's being bullied by her mean ungrateful children. Infuriating that she can't see it or chooses not to.