I'm 17 too and I understand what you're talking about. It's so hard because imo your teenage years are the worst years, this world we live in is still so new to us and it's hard trying to find where we fit in to all of this. I used to be really suicidal, I hated my mom and wrote poetry and how I hated life and everyone I ever met. I have bad anxiety so I don't go out anywhere and I'm not ashamed to admit this but I don't have friends. I know it sucks but the only advice I can give to you is to try and get a full time job once high school is over. I have a Saturday job and it's not enough to afford a house but if you're serious about wanting to be away from your parents then you can try and get a full time job to save up and rent somewhere. It's so hard figuring out what you want to do with your life but remember college isn't just for people who are fresh out of high school, my sister always tells me you could be 30 going to college and that would be okay so if you ever want to go in the future you should. I know it sucks that your friends are all going to college and you aren't going to see them anymore but it's really important you keep contact. Maybe arrange a monthly get together and all see each other and catch up. I know it seems like college is severing your ties with them but you can stop that from happening if you try hard enough. It is scary facing the world like this, there's no right or wrong way to do it and no one is told how. For me my suicidal tendencies were from getting bullied in high school. After I left it wasn't magically better but a couple months later I woke up one day and realized it really had changed, that I really was happy. Your username makes me feel really sad because you aren't wrong or stupid, we're all trying to pave our own way in life and it's hard but we all find what we love eventually.