If you don’t know how you want to kill yourself, do you really want to kill yourself? Rhetorical.

Killing yourself is not going to take the pain away. Killing yourself is just going to transfer the pain that you feel onto the people who you’ve left.

I’ve been there, in and out of that mentality switching back and forth between barely ok and wanting to be dead-dead.

But if I got to choose the way I die, I’d definitely go with asphyxiation or Xanax overdose, BUT every time I think of that sweet release I also think about my nephew who is practically my son, my sisters, my brother, my friends, my parents...those bitches at work who are gonna talk shit about me after my body is found...

Don’t hurt yourself. Please if you have any love for anyone in the world. Don’t.

If you have health insurance go see a psychiatrist and ask for Quetiapine also known as Seroquel. If you don’t have health insurance, call the police and they will get you the help you need.

I know it’s fucking hard to imagine a life of joy and happiness, but these meds didn’t just save my life, they made me feel again. I can feel the good and I can feel the bad and I can let it all come and go without it all killing me on the inside.

Your feelings are absolutely valid. You are allowed to be sad, angry, confused, and you are allowed to feel like dying- but please know that when those thoughts consume you that it’s ok to ask for help too.