Can you send him to a boarding school? I had a brother like this and I'm sorry to say, but it ruined our family. My brother was impossible. Started out like your son, but then turned criminal and violent. He would beat us when he was as young as 11. I have 9 people in my family and we were all destroyed by his shitty behavior. My dad finally sent him to St.Johns near St.Cloud in Minnesota for a few years. It was a private boarding school. It was either that or death row (my brother is probably waaaaay worse than your son). He was totally cool after that. However, 20 years later, no one in our family communicates with him and vice versa. Do whatever you can to save your family. Consider boarding school. Sure, he may cry, freak and lash out, but that's temporary until he starts loving it. I'm serious. Save your family and don't end up like us.