Hi, thanks for your concern. A number of people in the thread miscategorized the situation as me being 'oblivious' or unknowing to the fact that I am in an abusive situation, but that is not the case. I know I am enduring an unfair, unequal and abusive situation, however I have made a calculated decision to accept it. Here's why (this is a repaste, but relevant):
She has had a terrible life, and I didn't go into the details in the thread. She was frequently sexually abused as a child, and her first fiancee committed suicide. Her last major relationship was physically abusive and the guy strangled her, putting her into hospital. About 12 years ago, she was drugged with GHB by a stranger and raped, awaking in hospital with two spinal fractures and no longer able to walk. Around the time I met her, she was just wasting away in agonizing pain and psychological trauma.
In comparison, I've had a life of privilege. I was poor growing up, but always had people who cared about me. I was able to work hard and pursue a career I love. I had all sorts of luck and all sorts of opportunities. I've had a good run.
Right now, I feel her happiness is more important than mine. I want to do everything I can in order to make her happy, make her feel safe, and make her feel loved. I want to feel like her life is worth living and that the world would not be better off if she were dead. She never had the opportunity to feel that way before meeting me. Her whole life was pain, before.
She deserves good things. Nobody else wants to go near her with a ten foot pole, so I'm going to be that person who tries to make her happy. Even if that means things get abusive and tough on me. In the thread, people kept saying I was denying the reality of the situation and pretending it wasn't abusive. But the thing is, I know. I know it's bad for me, it really is. But it's good for her, and she deserves happiness more than me at this point in time.
By bringing her here and getting her better medical care, she's now able to walk. It's amazing. On occasional good days, she can traverse a canyon or hop around a tidal pool. You should see her smile as she walks on the beach. She's experiencing little bits and pieces of happiness that she was denied her whole life. I know I'm suffering dearly for all of this, but I feel it is worth it. I'm making a decision to put her first, and, IMO, it's not an irrational decision.
But it is very hard for me, and I know I can't cope forever. I'll have to work out a better system. That's why I'm trying to brainstorm ideas...
By the way, I encourage you to read more about Mother Theresa. She was not only undeserving of the praise attached to her name (comparing people to Mother Theresa is actually a cliche for being good) but she was essentially an utter monster. I recommend googling critiques of Mother Theresa or the like and having a read about the large numbers of unconscionably unethical things she did.
Anyway, thanks for your message.