i relate, and it's a very self-destructive habit, i've found.

by engaging in these activities and any form of escapism, you're essentially escaping from yourself. it can be addicting because it gives you a sense of relief to where you are distracted from focusing on your self and your problems.

i used to think i liked being alone with my thoughts, but really i was just alone with the thoughts i had while i was in escapism mode. i've found that when i'm truly alone with my own thoughts, they turn into ruminations and induce a lot of anxiety.

and it is a lot worse when i'm out of my room, forced to engage with reality. its when escapism is not longer an option, and you are confronted with a reality that is not yours and it can be a very uncomfortable and visceral feeling.