Oh hey! It's very nice of you to ask. I'm going to re-read what you wrote and try to tease out exactly what bugged me.

This may be a little all over the place, it's late here. So this is just me replying, I only represent that viewpoint.

"sex is socially constructed, and some of that construction sucks"

I'm with you there. Some of that construction does suck male ass. Or at least it would, if that wasn't taboo. (sorry, I'm a doffus sometimes.)

Alright, if I am wrong, correct me, but I believe you are talking about sex as an act practiced in society in general. And you are arguing that the act of sex is rooted (as it is practiced now) in patriarchy and cannot be changed from that impetus.

That's where you're going to lose me. Because I personally feel like you're telling me, as a person who is pretty happy with my sex life, that I am essentially Doing It Wrong. In particular:

That, under patriarchy, men are considered to have a right of sexual (and otherwise) access to women, a right which it is compulsory for women to grant and for men to exercise, the burden of meeting this compulsion falling unequally on women

Nope. While on a widespread basis, I'd agree that is a valid viewpoint to consider, this doesn't apply to me, I can have sex or not based on what my partner feels like doing.

You explained in great detail the seraglio idea of sexuality - where women have to wait for the men in their lives to favor them with sex or not, and in particular how to step out of that mode altogether but (other than either or both of us being exhausted) that does not really apply to my life.

Up until

We need to be able to admit that what perpetrators do is what the world calls sex, and that it is not nice, and that it is not the fault of survivors and its other casualties for not finding it nice but is in fact due to the nature of sex under patriarchy.

I was mostly with you. But when you said that sex is not nice, no matter who partakes in it, that's when I felt like I was being preached to, because frankly, you may think you know what's good for me when it comes to sex. But you only have an idea. It may be a good idea, and you can argue it well, but it's still your idea, and you're not the one having sex with my mind and body.

Okay, I'm sorry this is a bit shorter than I wanted to make it, but I was working and I got home around 2 am. If you have any more questions or see anything you need me to expand on I will do my best tomorrow!