[EU] After an hour of deliberation, the Sorting Hat announces that it has no idea where to put this student


“My dear Professor McGonagall. If we eliminated the impossible, what ever remains must be the answer.”

Dumbledore paused for a moment, his eyes focused on his fingertips.

“Have I ever told you about this londonian wizard? He used his talents to – but I digress. What I'm trying to say, dear Professor, is that we have to consider our options, however unlikely they might seem.”

McGonagall snorted in disbelieve.

“But surely you can't propose founding a new house just for one boy? It's just impossible. The houses are based on tradition, they have virtues, for god's sake. What are the virtues of the new house? Indecisiveness and Misfortune?”

As she was speaking, Professor McGonagall strode around the room, several times passing a boy wearing an oversized, old hat.

Matthew Doyle had had lots of friends descending from wizard families and had therefore heard lots of horror stories about the Sorting. No one however had told a tale as singular and, frankly, horrifying as the one he was in right now.

He had been embarrassed while sitting in front of all those students for so long, silently arguing with the magical hat. But his embarrassment had reached unexplored heights when the headmaster had decided that they had to take this to his office. Matthew had not been allowed to take of the hat since he was escorted there and was now silently sitting in the middle of the room, feeling like an awkward hat stand as the Sorting Hat discussed their situation with the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall.

“I agree with the Professor, Headmaster.” The hat chipped in now, his voice absolutely booming in Matthews ears. “I don't consider it a possibility to make up a new house. Even if you were to found one, it would not be in my abilities to sort someone into it. I am a product of the four founders only.”

“Quite.” For the first time, Dumbledore addressed the boy. “Mr Doyle, correct? You have absolutely no reason to be worried. I, of course, understand that you do not share this sentiment. However we will not refuse you from an education at this school. No matter what measures we might have to take to ensure it. Professor McGonagall, would you kindly return to the Great Hall and start the feast. It is of no use to let all our friends starve while we solve this matter.”

“Of course, Headmaster.”

After he had watched the door close, Dumbledore focused back on the boy and the hat.

“Now, dear hat, could you again explain why you have not been able to sort this boy?”

“Surely, Headmaster. The problem is quite simple, though it is the most extraordinary one I have faced in my career. Of course, I have often encountered cases of uncertainty, though usually it is because someone fits several houses at the same time. In this case however, the boy fits in no house at all. In fact he fits so little that I am unable to even let him decide.”

Dumbledore had raised his eyebrows in wondersome surprise. “You're saying he is neither brave nor cunning? Neither sharp nor loyal? You're saying that he has no drop of courage or patience? Not a spark of ambition or wit? Now that I can not believe, dear hat, since that would mean that he was no boy at all.”

Dumbledore glanced at the boy for a moment and then back at the hat.

“But I can see a boy. A boy who wants to become a wizard and for that he is knocking on our door. And we have to answer.”

Considering the hat again, Dumbledore took a breath. “Would you agree that it is hardly possible to leave him unsorted in our school?”

“I would dare call it impossible, Headmaster.” The hat agreed stoically.

“I have often wondered whether this system is working correctly.”

Now, this hurt the hat, of course, and he answered quite angrily.

“What are you proposing then, Headmaster?”

Dumbledore stood up and rounded the table, his eyes wandering over the portraits behind him as he went.

“I'm proposing that he abolish the Sorting.”

/r/WritingPrompts Thread