"Tell me," James whispered into Trixie's year, "do you know where Falcon keeps the codes?" Trixie smirked, pushing his chest so he fell on the bed. "Yeah. I do." James unbuttoned the top of his shirt, pulling Trixie by the waist with his free hand. He sat up, his chin touching her just below the chest as he looked at her. "Where?" Trixie lowered her face, brushing her lips against his. "I can't tell you that, Mr. Bond." With a swift movement, Bond closed his grip around her waist and threw her on the bed, climbing over her. She grabbed his tie and pulled him closer. They kissed. James ran his hand through Trixie's blonde hair. "Is it in the island?" he whispered, pulling his lips from hers. Trixie's hand went down, and she started undoing his pants. Oh, Jesus. He held her by the wrist. "Is it in his office?" Trixie smiled her mean girl smile again, pulling her hands free. "It's in the boat." Bond smiled too, nodding to himself. "The boat… of course." Breathing fast, Trixie pulled her hands up again, grabbing James' shirt by the edges and pulling it – "Shh," James said, holding on to her wrists again before she could rip his shirt. "This is Prada, darling. It costs more than your education." Trixie frowned. "Then take it off." Bond tried not to roll his eyes. "Ok, ok…" He took off his shirt, and Trixie smiled again at the sight of his body. "Come on," she said, running her soft, weirdly small and thin hands over his body. "Make me feel like a woman, Bond!" "You wanna go… shopping, or…?" Trixie opened her mouth indignantly. "That's sexist, James!" "Sorry," Bond said. He took a deep breath, then leaned over and kissed Trixie again, reaching behind her for the bra. "All right," he said, pulling his face back up a feel inches. "Now let's have all the sex." Trixie's eyes narrowed at the bored tone of his voice, but it was gone after a second. She rolled over and climbed on top of him. They kissed, and Bond took off his pants. "Oh my God, James!" James Bond looked up, pulling Trixie from over him violently. "Ethan!" "What are you doing!?" Trixie collapsed out of bed and to the floor violently, screaming "Hey!" "I'm working!" Ethan banged the door shut behind him. "Oh, my ass! The Falcon case was cracked two days ago! They found the codes in his boat!" "I didn't know that!" James replied, truthfully. "Bullshit! I'm tired of your screwing around!" "Darling, I swear I didn't –" "What is going o – Hunt?" James paused, looking from Trixie to his partner. "You two know each other?" Ethan looked away, clearly uncomfortable.
"If you can call 'banging my boyfriend in Cancun for two weeks' knowing each other…" James got up, grabbing his pants. "What were you doing in Cancun?" "It was… a case," Ethan replied, not looking James in the eye. "With the IMF." "In Cancun?" "I met him at a party," Trixie said, putting her bra back on. "He was working the same case as my boyfriend at the time, Archer. I caught them getting hot and heavy in the upstairs bathroom of a gala at the beach." James' eyes went wide. "Oh, really?" "It's not what you think, James, I –" "Here I am, doing my job," Bond replied, looking around the room like he was talking to an audience, "and you're accusing me of betraying you, when you are out there partying in Cancun!" "I'm sorry James, I – I'm really sorry. I know it's your job. Hell, I don't even know why I'm so jealous," he said, looking at Trixie. "It's not like you're with a guy, or anything." "Exactly," James replied. "I think you owe me an apology." Ethan sighed, taking a step closer to Bond. "I'm sorry, Jamie. Really. Can I make it up to –" "All right, who's ready for some three way spy-fucking?" clapped Jason Bourne, stepping out of the bathroom wearing nothing but fishnet stockings and a bowtie. He stopped his eyes on Hunt. "Who's this clown?" Ethan looked from Bourne to Bond, shaking his head. "You're an asshole, James."