[EU] Retell a classic Bible story using the characters of South Park

Cartman: "Hey fuck you Kyle!"

Kyle: "Hey Fuck you fatass!"

The two begin shoving as Kenny and Stan pull the two away. They we all wearing ancient toga-like clothing and standing around a large empty area.

Stan: "Look we've been out here for days and you two have been at each other's throat every minute of it. We need something to do."

Cartman: We'd have something to do if Cartman would stop being an annoying jew and instead be a good jew and let us kick the crap out of him!"

Stan: We're not kicking anyone's ass Cartman!

Cartman: Well someone's ass is gettin' kicked, I don't give a fuck.

Stan walked over to a large pile of rocks and dirt.

Stan: Look, why don't we, I don't know, try building something?

Cartman: Build something? Like what a giant dildo or something?

Kenny: Mmmfdhdjfk fhjd djfkdhjfd fjdkfsk...

Kyle: Yeah! That's a great idea Kenny. We can build a tower. Like a super huge tower! It'll reach the sky and the heavens. It be sweet!"

Cartman (mumbling): Yeah dirty jew heaven hehe

A few hours passed and the boys continued to build their tower, using mud and stones and bricks, the tower grew, foot by foot. Butter walks up to them.

Butter: Hey guys! Um, er, what're ya doin'?

Stan was moving bricks and stones from one pile to a closer pile by the tower

Stan (monotone): Building a tower.

Butter: Wh- why you guys doin' that?

Stan: I don't know, fun I guess. Better than nothing.

Butter: Oh boy! Mind if I join!

Stan: Yeah, sure I guess.

Up near the top of the tower, roughly twenty feet high.

Kyle: Cartman hand me the ball-peen hammer.

Cartman: Hehe, you mean the BALLS AND PENIS HAMMER! Hhahaha!

Kyle: Goddamnit Cartman will you just hand it to me?

Cartman: Ughhhh, fine.

Cartman hands him the hammer and gets back to work.

After a few more hours the tower was nearly fifty feet high. Token, Clyde, Jimmy and Timmy approached. Stan was still moving stones along with Butter.

Token: What's going on?

Butter: Building a tower.

Token: Uh, why?

Stan: I don't know. Fun I guess.

Timmy: TIMMAY!

Jimmy: Jimmy is r-r-right. That does seem like t-t-t-tons of fun. Why don't we all en-n-n-joy this wonderful activity.

Up on the top of the tower Kenny, Kyle and Cartman continued to build.

Cartman: Kyle can you hand me some extra mortar and bricks over here?

Kyle tosses Cartmen the items in a brown bag. Cartman continues working on the tower. He begins to whistle as the two work quietly with each other.

Back at the Marsh house, Randy is in the backyard attempting to build a shed. He is failing and the shed looks rickety and falling apart. He was holding a glunten-free beer in his right hand as he looked at his shed with arrogance, as if it was a masterpiece. Sharon walked out the back door.

Sharon: Randy, can you go down to the field by the school and tell Stan that dinner is ready?

Stan stood in silence as the sun was setting. Its red gaze hitting his rickety shed. He took a deep sigh and siped his beer.

Sharon: Randy? Did you hear me?

Randy: Ahh. Isn't it beautiful. A handmade shed, a cold gluten free beer and a sunset. Couldn't ask for a better day. Isn't it just beautiful?

Sharon. Yeah, it's a crappy shed. Now will you go get the boys please?

Sharon walked away

/r/WritingPrompts Thread