Not a man but

I cheated on my ex, we had been dating a few months. I was an insecure teenager (19) and he paid almost no attention to me. In those two months I believe we hung out twice. And maybe if I was lucky I got one text from him per day. But all through that I didn’t do anything bad. Then I was watching movies with a male friend and we decided to take some acid. I took a whole dose whereas he only took about 1/4. I’m experienced with the drug and I know that with 1/4 you definitely have all your senses about you, just a little tingly in your body. Anyway he ended up sexually assaulting me. To this day I’m not quite sure what happened, because I was so high. I know I told him no and tried to push him away but he was bigger and stronger. Anyway. After that happened I already felt like I had cheated. I felt awful and I hated myself. I had no more interest in self preservation or safety and I hooked up with someone random from tinder because I couldn’t stand to be alone in the house. The next day I broke up with my ex.