it sounds like you were deliberately dragging her away from her attempts to be the person she wanted to be.

I actually spent about $20k moving us closer (From 79mi away to 1.7mi away) to her college and furnishing our new apartment. I didn't discourage her, ever, (My father discouraged my mother from doing things, I saw how it hurt their relationship. So in that way I was as supportive, regardless of what I thought of her decision(s), as I could possibly be, to anything and everything she wanted to do.) but I wanted her to be comfortable with herself and happy, as I could see the strain she was putting on herself and us trying to change things that she wasn't going to be able to.

I was damned if I supported her and damned if I didn't. (She'd get mad at me for buying her ice cream, cookies and the like while out, tell me not to, then the next day beg me to bring something home again.)

Another good example is she signed up for a gym, I offered to go with her and diet with her since that's what she wanted to do, she gets huffy and defensive, then she goes twice, hurts her shoulders and never again.

Part of our problems was she thought I wasn't looking for work, but the simple truth is I had the money to not look for work and provide for us both for several years. She considered my lack of desire to work at McDonald's for example (Which is basically all I can get in this area) as a grave insult to her.

Anyway, after months of purposefully driving us apart, and when she thought the money was gone; she skipped out on me after a bad fight. It'd been building and building, she'd start screaming over random things. I knew she was tense, but I was settled in the relationship, a splitup never occurred to me as a possibility, I know that I was as happy with her as I'm capable of being.