Male here!

I often wonder if not replying timely to texts counts as toxicity?

I admired(Loved) this person a lot but she was more expressive than I. She would message me every day and would share her life, Gift me stuff on my birthday, even made two scarves for me.

So you see... A perfect lover. A devoted one.

I on the other hand was a quiet one. Experiencing this ‘lover’ attention for the first time so I was mostly listening, soaking and absorbing all her love. Awestruck! Because I was not an ‘Achiever’.

But in the end when we were breaking up, she reasoned herself right by telling me that she didn’t know if I really wanted her so she’s choosing to go with another person. I don’t deem her entirely wrong because we all have expectations for a stable future and that bit I never reflected.

It was a very rough breakup. All my feelings had to come out mixed with all the jealousy and insult that I felt. I didn’t abuse but I begged her to stay like anything. I was so needy that it was toxic. But the reason she gave me again n again was that she didn’t know if I loved her not. This separation threw me into a self-doubt spiral if I am even capable of being a lover or not.