Do you ever just sit back and watch?

I love perspective like that.

Something similar happened at my wedding. Ubpd mom was freaking out and it stressed me out. So DH and I secret eloped, but also went through with our 'wedding'. It allowed me to emotionally disengage, which before I was very, very much not.

I'd asked DHs dad to walk me down the aisle months prior (nc with ndad 4 years at that point) and with tears he accepted. Two weeks before the wedding ubpd mom was throwing an absolute fit, insisted I hadn't told her FIL was doing the honors (I had), insisted I un-ask him, and insisted "it is assumed" the mother walks the bride down in absence of the father (I tried telling her, "it's easy to say mom, it's okay. Try saying, 'I assumed' then we can talk normally. You'll feel better." She flew into anger yelling 'quit putting words in my mouth!!' Lol. It is assumed.. By only you, mom). She also explained (cry/yelled) that even if Ndad was there both parents still walk the bride down, just as her parents had. Ah, bpd. She boomed that she forbid me in God's name (completely seriously) from wearing boat shoes under my dress (not even visible) at our Nantucket beach wedding. Did I mention she wasn't paying a dime for any part of the bridal shower, wedding, reception, rehearsal dinner - any of it? Then the night of our "wedding" 3 hand written pages of prayers and a check for a few grand grand after a big emotional display (tears of course) about how she couldn't afford it and it would prevent her from retiring. Don't life events bring out the best of the best?

Being emotionally disengaged just highlighted the ridiculousness of it all. What shoes I wear walking 30ft? I'm already married. This is hilarious.

Plus the dynamic!! Gcbro swooping in to rescue waif mom, scolding me. Trying to step in as absentee ndad/father role. All over made-up crisis. It was theater, and it was amusing to us.

/r/raisedbyborderlines Thread