Wala nga lang sexy at juicy shit lol.

Senior ko sa org. Na-meet ko siya on her last semester in the university, samantalang ako bagong-salta pa lang. Always looked up to her as a senior so I didn’t make any moves, though madalas nagpapakagago ako at gumagawa ng corny na jokes para lang mapatawa siya. She was always the one inviting me to org hangouts with a warm smile (bawal umasa kasi baka friendly lang siya), at pagkatapos ng hangout, lalakad-lakad kami under the sunset (…at sa maputik na construction site).

Eventually gumraduate na siya at nag-umpisa ng post-grad studies sa former campus ko, and I thought that was the end of it—save for some times na nakikita ko siya during org extracurriculars.

So imagine my surprise when out of the blue, tinanong niya kung mapapadaan ba ako sa former campus ko, at kung gusto ko raw ba mag-hangout with her. (As a friend?) I couldn’t believe it lol. Then the hangout came into fruition and I felt like I was dreaming. Ramdam na ramdam ko ‘yung #spraks, kahit na ikinukwento lang niya na lagi siyang naliligaw sa mga department store. ‘Di ba ‘yung ibang tao nawawalan ng interes sa crush nila dahil may idealized version sila of that person in their heads? Mine was the opposite of that. Mula sa pagkakaroon ng crush, nahulog na ako nang bongga.

Nag-escalate pa ‘yung friendship further into 1-on-1 study dates (as a friend??), overnight pa ‘yung dalawa (sa coffee shop lang because god is watching).

Months pass, and I felt na we were growing into / becoming different people na, and nabawasan na rin ‘yung sparks (as a friend, though several people have hinted that they thought we were an item).

We don’t talk anymore. That said, I’m thankful for that Non-affair with Plausible Deniability (TM), because 1) I learned a lot from the experience, and 2) It came at a time when I was battling severe depression, and she’s one of the reasons I stopped attempting to An Hero like every two months.