Have you ever noticed a connection between your love life and you relationship with your father? How did your relationship with him affect the way you relate to/choose partners?

My father is emotionally distant and a bit manipulative. My earliest memories are of him screaming at me until I cried and then pretending nothing had happened.

When I started dating, my relationships were always short-lived. Attracting and keeping men wasn't the problem. It was me. I would keep my boyfriends wrapped around my finger, and then see some tiny flaw in them and immediately initiate a breakup. Also, I consistently dated strangers, because it was easier to throw them away without repercussions when the relationship inevitably went south. At first I couldn't see the pattern, but eventually it became too obvious to miss. It tormented me because I didn't know how to stop.

A few years after that, I started going to therapy. I realized part of me liked having emotional distance in relationships, both because it was what I was familiar with, and because then I felt like I was in control of the relationship and couldn't be hurt. In a sick way, I was trying to regain the power I didn't have when I was a child. I've stayed in therapy for the past 2 years and am now in a relationship with someone who truly knows me. So, people can change. But it takes work.

/r/AskWomen Thread