It's just weird. I keep wishing I could go back to certain moments just to experience some things again, maybe do them differently. There are definitely things that I could do differently. That's why now matter so much for me, because if I feel this way in another 5 years from now I don't know how I could handle it.

It's also weird thinking about how all of these people I looked up to in movies, music, sports, are all also getting older too, and one day they won't be what they used to be to me. My parents are also getting older, sometimes (all the time) I wish some things would stay the same, while other things would change, but that's life I guess.

There are real worries though, I was just fine in my life not thinking about these things, but maybe they're good, and these worries will push me to make the most of my time here. That's what I hope.

As I type this I have a loaded pipe next to me from last night when I was about to smoke, as I wasn't planning on permanently quitting. Taking my time and typing this has helped me realize I don't need it, and I'll throw out the weed instead. Thank you.