My cheating keeps me happy

marriedscoundrel, I don't really want to get into a war between our subs, I think it's best we just continue to ignore each other. But this part of your story has always made me curious about you.

I don't know how cheating can keep you happy, when every day you face the reality that you continue to stay with a spouse that refuses to meet your needs and is happy to keep you in a sexless marriage. When you have to lie to multiple women, and your own family, in order to have a basic need met receive physical affection.

Is that really a happy life? Having a partner like that, having to lie about who I am, would make me utterly miserable. Does it not kill you inside? You get one brief life, a blink in universal terms, and you're choosing to spend yours accepting a situation like this, it seems like such a waste.

I don't understand why you think divorce is so devastating, why you are so afraid of it that you're willing to sacrifice your life and happiness, and potentially the happiness of the other members of your family, and your own reputation this way.