I don't know, I think we don't have to "control" our feelings to an extreme; having a feeling, judging that feeling and acting based on that feeling are all different things.

I don't agree with stoicism in that part which says wise and intelligent wouldn't have the need to show intense feelings. I feel it's also one kind of sign of mental maturity that you are able to face your feelings.

It's okay to feel intense feelings. Feeling and giving yourself a permission to feel them can be purifying. Intensive feelings don't also have to be "visible", you can appear to be calm on the outside and still handle those feelings inside or find some other not-so-visible way to handle them.

I know it might be hard to accept intense feelings, especially if one has had a traumatic past and/or is very sensitive to feelings, their own or others'. If people expressing intense feelings has usually been associated with negativity, it's hard to think the intense feelings could be healthy and good for you.

But even then the "sickness" doesn't lie in the intense feelings, it's in the emotionally unstable environment that didn't teach you (especially in the childhood) how to express yourself sensibly. It's a thing you have to go through and grow up from it, not one that you have to let to guide you and let to make the "rules of the game". No, you make the rules yourself, not your (possibly...) unhealthy past.

I'm making implications here because I feel like my sensitivity is partly due to having traumatic past. It's a great gift anyways, but I don't think I should let my sensitivity to "make the rules of the game". Alice Miller writes good books about this.

An old person who has gone through a lot is probably not so moved emotionally with everything, because they're so used to seeing stuff and can "jump" to their conclusions without the emotional turbulence. But it doesn't mean we all should be like that at any given age. I think there are different, cumulative ladders of human development, and we can't jump to the highest ladder without first stepping on the ones before it. How can we even "jump to the conclusions" when we see an emotionally moving situation if we don't gain the experience of them first? What is the "conclusion" actually then? Something we've copied from the older and wiser people? But is it then really helping us on our own path or are we just trying to reach for something we idealize in others? Does it really help us in our own mental development if we don't come up with the realizations ourselves? Is it the "innerly-driven" our "outside-driven"?

Okay I let my thoughts wander.. Anyways, I feel drawn to Buddishm/Taoism as life-philosophies. Sometimes I find it hard to identify myself with any philosophy, though. There are so many of them which share many ideas together... Each of them having useful points. Sometimes it feels like they're all just talking about the same things, just from a little bit different angle.