I was an only child until I was 12 and always wanted a sibling. I was jealous of my friends who had a live-in playmate and someone to talk to. My mum was a single parent and spent most of her time either at work or on her computer. I used to play Monopoly by myself and pretend to be someone different for each of the 'players'.

My brother was born when I was 12. I was ecstatic - finally I was getting the sibling I had always wanted and I adored that baby. By that time, however, I was old enough that instead of being an older sibling I ended up more like a second parent. Initially this was fine, I enjoyed looking after him because I had always liked babies and it was fun to see him develop.

As we got older, I was left looking after him more often. I looked after him every day after school all through my teenage years while mum was at work. I couldn't go anywhere, I couldn't stay at a friend's, I couldn't make any plans for after school because I had to get home to my brother. I wanted to be a teenager and do normal teenage things, but instead I was stuck at home looking after someone who shouldn't have been my responsibility. I resented him for that.

It made me depressed and angry, and destroyed any chance of building a loving relationship between him and I. He's 11 now and I know nothing about him. I only ever see him when I visit mum, and even then we don't talk. I still see myself as an only child, and him as one too. We didn't grow up together as siblings, we grew up as caregiver and child.

I'd love to build a relationship with him, because I feel horrible when I think about the way I treated him. The way I took my anger out on him and never showed him any love. But I'm pretty sure he that's all he remembers about me, and he won't understand why it was that way.

TL;DR: Was an only child wanting a sibling, got a brother when I was 12, was nothing like what I thought it be.