This is a fuckin' doozy.

When I was 15 we (my mom and I, plus my pet parrot on my shoulder during this incident) were moving into our new house. Right next door another 15 year old kid was screaming at his mother, ran out in front of his house and threw their big trash can through the front window of his house. I guess he realized he fucked up so he started picking up the glass and throwing it away in the trash can. His mother ran out and said "you're going to cut yourself, stop!" He screamed "*oh yeah?!" and picked up a handful of broken glass, tossed it in his mouth and started chewing it.

His mother called the police. The kid then, for good measure, picked up his own bicycle and threw it on the roof of his house. It was surreal. The police showed up and surrounded the kid. He said "why don't you put that sissy bitch pistol on your hip down and we'll see how tough you really are." If you ever want to know what it feels like to be tackled by 5 cops, try that line.

As they were hauling him off to his 72-hour stay in the psychiatric ward of the local hospital, he turned to my mother and me, and with blood pouring out of his mouth and a big smile on his face, screamed, "welcome to the fuckin' neighborhood!"

All of this is true, except I wasn't the neighbor girl, I was the kid. If you're out there neighbor girl, sorry to scare you and your mom. That parrot on your shoulder really added to what was the most fucked up and surreal moment of my life. I'm totes normal now. Just crazy 15-year-old shit, you know?

TL;DR -- Moving into new house, kid next door throws trash can through front window of own house, chews broken glass, throws bike on own roof, threatens cops, screams "welcome to the fuckin' neighborhood" at me and my mom.