I sit alone in my room contemplating the nature of reality.

I spend today like every other day, reading. All I do is read, consume knowledge.

I read about astronomy, physics, mathematics, history and philosophy. I try to understand why am I here.

I feel like a selfish asshole

I hate myself

I am doing nothing for the betterment of mankind and I don’t know how to do it. I want to change the world but I have no idea how to start.

I feel like I’m a slave to time.

I don’t know what to do with myself, with my time being alive for it to change anything.

I know so much but at the same time I know nothing.

I feel like I’m a man out of time and that I’m lost in existence. Like people around me only see themselves and not the world around them, but I’m a hypocrite because while I try to see the world the best I can I cant see myself in it.

I’m not special or better then anyone else, but I do have perfect recall, but I don’t want anyone to know about it, I do t want it to work to my advantage. I want to be like everyone else but not like everyone else. My past and all I know is happening all at once (kinda). I have a pretty good record in predicting what will happen based on what has happened. I think I could be anyone I want but I don’t know what I want.

No one will read this and I’m fine with it.

I’m lost in time anyway.

I want to forget everything and be free.