While my wife was at work I got drunk, put a 9mm handgun In my mouth and screamed trying to grow a fucking set of balls to rid the world of me.

After that I felt amazing. Alive and confident and happy.

Then I had an affair with a married man's wife. I skull fucked her in a hotel until her mascara ran down her cheeks.

She told me she only fucked me to stop having feelings for another man she was cheating on.

I did it to feel again. I have not felt anything in a very long time. I'm sure she did all of that for similar reasons.

That was 6 months ago.

Ultimately mentally ill people reach out to whoever. If it happens to be one another than so be it.

If I wanted attention Id post half nudes of my.body on Instagram. Instead Im drunk speaking to nameless strangers on reddit at 6 am.