Hello, Smilie_Face_Pancake. I see you. Like in the Avatar way... I see your beautiful heart. I'm sorry it's aching so badly. You are beautiful as you are. You matter. You are a gift to the world, whatever the world might be to you. You are precious.
Trans women are beautiful. You have a far deeper realization of it being wonderful to be a woman. I often forget and complain and feel miserable and unhappy to be stuck with PMS and periods and is it menopause yet, please, please?!
I wish I could give you a hug. I'm so sorry that you're in such deep, intense pain. I've been there. Like, yesterday. It's difficult and often confusing. For some of us, this world is downright savage.
For what little comfort it brings, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're the wonderful woman you are. Be you, because you are precious.
No one can truly See you, and not love you. If they don't love you, they don't know or See you.