My anxiety fixated on that same fear during high school, especially during senior year. If I left food or a drink and left the room, even for a moment, when I came back I thew it out. Every. Time. I could buy something at the grocery store and be perfectly okay with it, but when it came down to actually consuming it I'd panic. I was severely underweight. It was let my choice, per se, but the byproduct of my inability to admit to myself there was a problem.

The first step is always admitting something is wrong. You've done that. The past me did that. The next step? Force yourself to eat. I know this probably comes across as "get over it," but that's not my intention. Anxiety is feedloop of negative reinforcement. Things make you anxious, so you don't do them. This in turn makes the thought of them more anxiety provoking, so you avoid them. Which makes it harder, and, well, you get my drift.

The thought of contaminated food is triggering. Making yourself take a bite, even the tiniest one, is probably one of the hardest things you'll do, but it pays off. One teeny lick today may be an actual bite weeks down the road. It may not solve everything, and seeking professional help may be in your best interest. Maybe they can give you coping mechanisms or medicine (if you're down for that) that may make taking those bites a little bit easier.