This is gonna be a bs for y'all but it happened differently with the unforgotten "guy". I had a horrible relationship for five years, I was neglected, sexual assaulted, and toy-ed my feelings by my ex. That "guy" was an acquaintance, by the time being we made friends, he 'filled' my ex shortcomings, and I was not aware that was already happening because I was so devastated and already lost my mind. I was so vulnerable, yet still could manage that, THAT was wrong to commit everything with the "guy". We managed to stay friends, pero pakiramdam ko nagka-feelings din siya sa akin pero ayaw niyang i-admit, dahil sa unspoken rules. And then days before the pandemic lockdown, he started to ignore me. We don't communicate through online chat, we only converse personally, then nothing follows.

I never got healed, it gets worse all the time and I do also have a toxic family, I don't have anyone to talk to, and this man, my boyfriend came out of the blue and he always validated my feelings and emotions. I treasure him. My brain has the problem, what happened to me and that "guy" became a core memory.