I think that I have an issue with him bringing home a couple more than anything, and the main reason is because he wasn’t able to be sexual with me for a long time and now all of a sudden he can bring two people home and be fine.

However, I can appreciate your point and am not completely sure that I’d be fine with him bringing anyone home, but I think that if it was just one person it would be easier for me to rationalise.

He assured me that he would never bring anyone here because he ‘respects me too much’, despite me saying it would be fine if he just let me know beforehand. An issue I have is that what he’s saying could be true and thoughtful, or it could be him gaslighting me and making me believe that he didn’t bring these people over when in fact he did.

Thanks for your insight and feel free to share more. I plan to make a list of boundaries and discuss them with my therapist (because she’s great at helping me flesh these things out). I just need a starting point for these boundaries as I’m fearful of becoming the vindictive scorned ex girlfriend.