Ex-suicidal people of reddit, what saved you? And what keeps you going now?

Past 5 years I've been suicidal, so is my mom.

Just been dealing with poverty. 4 years ago I was unemployed and so was my mom. We squatted on a foreclose home as long as we could I didn't really have a clue where my mom was at with mortgage payment. I manage to get a part-time warehouse job and got a second job to scrape by while my mom was still unemployed. Few months go by and tensions were built because the lack of help I received from my mom.And eventually moved into a room from Craigslist. I wish I could help my mom out more at the time but she at the time was not mentally there. She tried to manipulate me into opening credit cards, loans, and look at my bank statements each week.

She finally manage get part-time job but still doesn't make enough to live. So for a year she worked the part-time job and chose to ignore the notices of foreclosure until finally she was evicted from her home. A friend took her in but was a 2hour commute from her part-time job. After 2 months her friend was diagnose with a terminal disease and receive a week notice to leave. So her brother step in and took her in.

For the most part I do my best to help along the way. The uhaul shop employees know me now since I've been in and out of the that place so much since the inconsistence of stability. I ended up moving my mom stuff 3 different accounts but the last move was the worst.

She called me crying saying she has no money to pay for the uhaul to pick up her last belongings she left at her friends house. So I payed for it and it was a whole day event driving there and back to her brothers. So as we were driving we got into a argument and she snapped. Balled about why she even wakes up in the morning and she never gonna get out of this position.cryed about how much friends and family treats her like shit and doesn't even have a bed and can't drink water without getting bitch at about drinking all the water.Screamed how much she wish she was dead and how much she fucked up.

My mom has her flaws but she a good person. She loves kids and always extremely friendly with everyone. When she around people she gets extremely happy and enthusiastic and just wants to talk to everyone. She has bad habits like her spending habits but I still love her.

Christmas Day I drove out to her. Walked into her room and wanted to break down and cry. Her room had a foam/ mattress thing on the ground with a 20 inch tv up on a podium with basic tv. Had few drawings of mine on the wall but nothing else. Just a empty yellow stained wall room from my uncle cigarettes. To think she sits in hours of traffic to get home to a empty room with no forms of entertainment Or a bed to relax. Nothing to look forward to...

Right now I'm trying to find a apartment for us. Looking into month to month rent that doesn't break the bank. Because I don't even work full-time, I work two part time jobs with a shitty sleep pattern. I'm constantly looking at state programs but don't know if I or my mom qualify for anything. I really wish my so call family didn't turn there backs on us and give me some reasonable advice during this horrible ordeal.

/r/AskReddit Thread