3. Ex-suicidal people of reddit, what saved you? And what keeps you going now?

Ex-suicidal people of reddit, what saved you? And what keeps you going now?

What saved me was probably whoever called the cops. I was a complete mess during that time of my life. I remember buying razors and a bottle of Tennessee honey jack, I drove back to my house and just parked in the yard. I got extremely drunk while sitting there, quit my job beforehand to make sure I wouldn't back out I guess. I ended up driving drunk about 10 miles away and I ramped off this cement slab leading into a secluded wooded area so nobody would see me. This was going to be it, i downed the entire bottle of jack, opened the pack of razors, and it turned out the razors I bought were flexible, so it was hard to get to work with one, so I ended up putting about 3 together and went from there.

I tried and tried. My blood kept clotting and I ended up getting really light headed, I don't know how long I was there. A police helicopter ended up spotting me, and the next thing you know I heard officers yelling at me, my car had blood everywhere, I didn't even look at them. The cop opened the door, and all I remember was waking up in the hospital. Afterwards they sent me to the mental section for obvious reasons.

I have always looked at death differently from everyone I know. I didn't believe in a afterlife, and the thought of running away from my life was refreshing. I didn't have a bad life at all, no trouble with women, I had a decent job and a loving family. I just couldn't talk to anyone, I was alone in my head. I was just so empty inside, I didn't enjoy life at all, it seemed so pointless if I couldn't even manage a real smile without smoking weed.

Now I have a daughter, and when I say she is my world I mean it. The only thing keeping me here is my daughter. When I see her its like everything will be okay, no medicine has ever done that for me. Now I actually have a purpose in life. She just turned one in November, my purpose is to make sure she never feels the same way I do, I just want to see her happy forever. Sorry for the longish post. I've never really told anyone this story. This post will probably be buried and deleted tomorrow anyhow.

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