I applaud your logical and ethical observations about Catholicism, but I am a bit puzzled about why you wanted to obtain confirmation from the church that they no longer regard you as a Catholic. (Although I realize that this did not happen since they wanted you to jump through more hoops.) What exactly does that accomplish? The next time you fill out a census form, you can indicate your religious status, for statistical purposes, if you are concerned that by including you on their rolls, the Catholic religion will have an inflated figure (let's fact it, they are going to remain a large religious denomination anyway).

I believe that if someone were to regard me as a member of their group (religious, political, or whatever) when I really am not, that is their problem, not mine. If they approach me for donations, they will find out soon enough what my real position is.

Possibly you are concerned that after you die you will be buried in a Catholic graveyard, but you can certainly make your wishes known in your will. You can even make funeral arrangements for yourself in advance, if you so desire. Lots of funeral homes are willing to make such arrangements. Alternatively, you could arrange to have your body donated to science. Medical schools always need cadavers for their students to dissect. It's the least expensive option, and therefore well worth considering. (You might specify a non-Catholic medical school.)

Strictly speaking, asking them to record that you are no longer a Catholic is not the same thing as asking them to remove your name from their records. Those two actions are mutually exclusive. If they record your name as being non-Catholic, then they will have a record of your name.

Anyway, glad to hear that you support same-sex marriage. That is a very important moral issue on which the Catholic church is in the wrong.