Explain why I should join Cobra like I am Red Skull and you are Cobra Commander
This comment was posted to reddit on May 15, 2015 at 12:01 pm and was deleted within 1 day, 1 hour(s) and 40 minutes.
Explain why I should join Cobra like I am Red Skull and you are Cobra Commander
Cobra Commander: Hello Red Skull, I am glad you are here and have decided to listen to our arguments for your admission into the Cobra army.
Red Skull: Thanks I doubt you'll convince me.
Cobra Commander: As you can see in the files I have submitted to support our case for your admission you will undoubtedly realize that you have little choice but to simply accept Cobra as your new home.
Red Skull: Computer?
Computer: Yes Red Skull.
Cobra Commander: (looks shocked)
Red Skull: Activate the Ulterion Directive.
Computer: Yes, master. Cobra Commander you are now reporting to Red Skull as the leader of Cobra. All Cobra agents have been notified.
Cobra Commander: WHAT?? This is bullshit. I didn't-
Red Skull: I have always remained in control of Cobra. I used your minions to test my theories on several occasions. You always assumed it was your idea to make decisions as you have. I created you, Cobra Commander. While you were busy hitchhiking around the States with Snake Eyes getting into trouble, I was pitting the world against you to create what you have sewn on my behalf. I have always worked in secret growing your power. All the computers and machinery here was developed through my test regimens and scientists. You think you know Doctor Mindbender but all you know for certain is my hologram. COMPUTER spawn Mindbender!
Cobra Commander: What this cannot be?? DESTRO KILL THIS FOOL.
Destro: (Steps into light) No. I am not authorized per the initialization of the Ulterion Directive.
Red Skull: I guess you could say I was already a member. The next phase is something you will not like though. I have decided to scrap Cobra and bring you all into Hydra as underlings. Together we will defeat the Avengers and usher in a new age of galactic domination once we have secured the infinity stones.
Cobra Commander: But what about GI Joe and his Joes?
Red Skull: Don't make me laugh they are all faggots.
Cobra Commander: What?
Red Skull: Have you ever even seen the Avengers do battle? Armies suffer from their power and yet it is nothing in contrast to the power of the infinity stones. Your Joe threat was only a training lesson I issued to ready Cobra for battle and for global policing among other light duties. Hydra soldiers are similar to Cobra only elite. You will understand when you see the rest of the plan to reset the world and secure our power over all the worlds of man and beyond.