Exploiting dead loved ones to gain church members

I lost my grandmother back in November, she raised me when my parents didn't want anything to do with me.. since I was 2.. I'm 30 now, my son is 6.. and it's hard and it's even harder not knowing how to deal with it, I don't have a magical place I think she went to, everything about her conscious self is gone.. and I can't wrap my head or my heart around that, and I don't feel like anyone around me understands why I have such a hard time coping with her being gone.. because she's just gone... and it hurts.. and I've had several people try to coerce me in to going to church and at weaker points it felt easier just to give in and let myself give her that spot in my mind but I can't... they continue to ask me to come to Church but its not a thing.. I guess this post has no meaning to it.. just sucks feeling like this 5 months later, and it isn't going away..

/r/atheism Thread