Extreme Depression Because of Sex Life w/ BF

These days, I feel the only thing that makes him happy is sex.

Tell him how you feel and if he agrees then it doesnt sound like theres any reason to continue the relationship. He is also unwilling to negotiate with you and work to resolve these conflicts. It sounds to me like youre still just a prostitute to him and this is straight up manipulation and abuse. Its also pretty bad for your mental health to have sex when you dont want to. If he gets angry because you don't want to have sex, he does not love you. It sounds like a toxic dysfunctional relationship with little hope of succeeding. It doesnt sound like love. It sounds like unhealthy attachment.

You should have more respect for yourself and demand it in a partner. My partner and I can go months at a time without sex, and thats ok because we're compatible. He respects me enough to just go fap when Im not in the mood (also because of prescriptions) Youre young and should be finding someone youre compatible with and prioritizing improving your emotional health.

My 2 cents on depression and meds, because Ive been there. Not ur doctor and I dont know you. If youre 'near-suicidal on an almost-daily basis' and 'horribly depressed,' you need immediate clinical help. Id recommend considering the deleterious effects of long term benzo and suboxone use on mental health. Long term benzo and suboxone use without therapy and a short term plan to get off of both of them, is basically trading one dependency for another, probably exacerbating the anxiety and other symptoms you are trying to treat, and just like with alcohol heroin and other dependencies, possibly covering up the emotional issues you need to be owning and addressing as a young adult. Also from personal experience, Borderline is highly treatable with hard work and dedication. Good luck.

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