EXTREME insecurity about genitals [F18], cries at the thought of oral sex

This strikes me as one of those things where the people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind.

Of course that's not true for all body issues and insecurities, as many of them (such as weight, for example) are out on display for anyone to judge, and sometimes the consequences of those judgments can hurt--like being passed over for a job because you're less attractive than the other candidate.

This is different in that only a few people will ever get to see this part of you. I know it's scary to give someone access to this because the fear that they'll say something mean, or judge you, or not want to sleep with you, or whatever--that fear is real. The rejection that you feel if and when someone reacts poorly is real. The thing is, you are under no obligation to put up with that. There are plenty of people in the world (probably a majority) that couldn't give a shit about how your ladybits look. It sucks that you have to filter out the people who do give a shit, but it's the same process as filtering out people who don't respect you, who don't want the same things as you, who you don't have chemistry with, or whatever else it is you're looking for in a partner.

So maybe the more accurate statement would be that those who mind don't have to matter, and you have the power to decide who matters based on whether or not they mind.

/r/sex Thread