I went through this at the same age. I was with an abusive bf who wanted sex early on because he believed it was the only way to make the relationship work. After I ended it, I had to work through the fact that my 'virginity' or the first person who I was intimately close with, wasn't the person I loved fully or wanted to have a life with. I'm just that way inclined - if I'm going to be close with someone like that. In saying that, you may have different opinions and different world views on sex and your relationships and that's completely yours. It's going to take time to work through this - potentially a third party is good to talk to.

You may meet someone amazing down the track and you'll feel loved and protected and are willing to share that experience with again.