I (F, 30) have a friend (M, 32) of 8 years. I’m fearing that our relationship has dissolved into something super toxic and now totally fallen apart

So here’s my question - and I don’t mean this in a rude way at all - are you actually in love with your husband? Do you actually want to be married to him? Forget all of the social norms and expectations surrounding marriage for a second and be honest with yourself. You’ve been cheating on him for the majority of your relationship with the same guy. Do you want to be with your husband?

The issue with your friend runs way deeper than you calling him a creep. That really isn’t the problem here. This guy has been around for a long time and it sounds like he’s always wanted to be with you. Why else does he keep coming around? It’s not that hard to find someone to hook up with if that’s really all it is, so why do you two keep coming back to each other? And on some level, you must want to be with him as well, or at the very least you enjoy the attention. It could be (and likely is) that a friendship with you is too painful for him. He has to watch you be married to your husband and live your life, knowing that he can never have that with you. Every time you guys hook up, he’s just getting a taste of something he’ll never be able to attain. And that’s painful. I’m willing to bet that him ignoring you has more to do with that, than it does with you calling him a creep.

I don’t think you’re a bad person at all. And if I’m being honest, I’ve been in a situation eerily similar to yours. But it’s gotten to the point where you need to figure out what you really want. If you truly value your marriage and love your husband, stay with him. But you need to unfollow your friend and block him on everything. You’ll need to completely forget him because even looking at his IG story is messing with your mind. And if you leave your husband, you need to come to terms with the fact that you might never even end up with this other guy. And if you do, there’s always the possibility that it won’t work out. Is that something that you are willing to risk? You’ve gotten to really weigh out your options here.

/r/offmychest Thread