I was really lost in my mind. I just couldn't get things straight in my head. The lost feeling lasted for around 17 years but the drinking 5 days a week was 10 years. I'm at peace, at least much more at peace than where I was. I'm happy to be alive and I hope that I can continue to improve mentally, even I gain some weight back. I am happy to hear you are doing better. You are welcome to share your story with me . I honestly had no idea so many people struggled like me, we live in such a fake world, even af AA I felt like everyone around me was fake. It was very hard to pull myself out. I felt that way because I have generalized anxiety disorder. It messes with the way I see people