Where is the clitoris? I've googled it (lol) and a lot of the results imply that it's kind of obvious but honestly I can't find it anywhere. I know it varies in size but I can't feel any sort of structure at all.

Open your labia minora apart. You will find a pea-like thing there. That is your clitoris.

If it's where I think it is, how does it even become involved during penetrative sex? I just don't see how it would be stimulated. It doesn't really make sense that evolution would place it there when I dont see how it becomes involved.

Foreplay through oral sex or masturbation.

A lot of guides describe it as the area where you feel the most pleasure but personally when I'm aroused I feel it more in the vaginal area not where it's meant to be, why is this? Is this normal?

Yes. At least for me.

I don't understand how anything can fit up the vaginal opening. For me it feels like a very small opening and seems like it would be painful for anything more than a finger or two to go up there. Is this just because I'm a virgin, does it "stretch out" so to speak.

Your vagina when you're not aroused is normally small. When you become aroused, it will get bigger. It is not because you're a virgin.