Oh I see. You were talking about your own opinions and feelings in your post to OP, yet presenting it as an inevitable fact for obese people.

I'm absolutely not saying people's feelings aren't valid. I'm saying that (call me a harsh bitch if you want) feelings aren't a "valid" reason to behave in a self destructive manner. Go to therapy if feelings outweigh logic and cognitions. I agree with you that desire to change has to come from within, but let's not pretend that a fat person is walking around happy and hunky dory until a loved one tells them to lose weight. It doesn't really sound like you feel that fat people can be "happy the way they are" the way you claimed in your original post.

yup, I'm obese. I would certainly not claim to be if I weren't. I agree with you about feelings of shame, inadequacy, and problematic identity that are all tied into my weight. But no one in my life did that to me - those feelings were my own (and sure, years of teasing and rejection). But as an adult, I am well aware that obesity is a bad way to be - so guess what. I went to therapy and worked on self esteem and decoupling it from my weight. Amazing - this led me to care enough about myself to make a healthy change.

Let me break this down - for anyone with insight, living in an unhealthy way (obese, depressed, cutter, whatever) and claiming to be ok with yourself is denial. Deciding to change yourself for the better - that's really being ok with yourself. Again, I'm not saying that this can be done without support and love and therapy.

Remember that the only point of yours I was arguing with is the claim that change=self hatred. Nothing you've said here changes that I think that's BS.