lol. Railing about how your husband took vows and should have honored them? Jesus fucking Christ, you're delusional. I guess you're free to break them as you please, huh?
He's not required to "try". You broke the "sanctity" of your marriage willfully - he didn't. That means you get to handle the fallout. No one has to go out of their way to make life better for you, and that's especially true of the man you cheated on.
Additionally, you call yourself a feminist and still fucking whinge about how this was everyone's fault but your own? Grow the fuck up. If you're going to ascribe to feminism, you should probably try to actually adhere to the beliefs. Chiefly the one about you having complete agency over your body and your actions. You made the choice to cheat. You made the choice to have an abortion. No one did that for you, nor did anyone hold you down and force one upon you. And since your safety didn't hinge on whether or not you had one (since you're clearly more than able to stay with your parents when shit goes south), you weren't forced into an abortion by circumstance, either.
Finally, just how late into the pregnancy did you have this abortion? The man you cheated on says you acted weird for two months after you found out you were pregnant, and then he didn't speak to you for a month. And then you opted for the abortion. So you were, what, three-four months into the pregnancy? That's pretty fucking late, and dramatically upped your chances of complications. You really should have actually committed one way or another before it got to that point.
Anyway. Stop embarrassing yourself with this shit and accept that a.) you brought all of this upon yourself, and b.) your husband is innocent in this situation. You should feel bad for hurting him and wasting years of his life - and don't give the bullshit "I WAS YOUNG!1!!" excuse. You knew it was wrong, and given that you fucking did it again years later, it obviously wasn't the consequence of youth. Immaturity, sure, but that doesn't appear to be something you're going to outgrow any time soon.