I (F35) feel my partner (M25) makes condescending comments about my intelligence during heated arguments. How should I approach this?

Not long ago I briefly told him I was abused by my step father and he jokingly said ''Maybe that's why you're abusive.". I told him I felt hurt he'd say such a thing, to be, even jokingly called, the thing I endured. He said he only wanted to make light of the situation, so I am not upset about it. And I told him some things are serious and that abuse is upsetting. He said that according to some study, abused children have a much larger tendency to be abusive as adults, but that I am not abusive at all.
During our last argument, the one I made this thread for, he also mentioned "Maturity is when knowing when to take things personally, when to get a f-ing joke and when to express love to your beloved one."
I have definitely been showing less affection than him, because I wanted to take things slowly and really make this work and know him well as a person, but a lot - mostly - because of arguments we had. I am a reserved person, even sensitive, so I go into my ''shell'' easily. And one way is to be more distant.

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