[F4F] Wife Chat / Sex Chat / Embarrassing Kinks

This for me is a long term throw away account of sorts. I'm a 40 year old married man. Been with my wife now for.. I think it'll be 17 years this September. I love her.. I love her with all my heart. We haven't even had more than minor heated argument since we met each other! She really is my second half. We have two wonderful boys, one just bursting into teendom and the other 2 years behind. I'm a journeyman tradesman, and shes a dedicated office professional even pulling in more money than I do, so we're well off as things go. Sounds like a perfect world eh?

Our sex life is.. average at best. I'd spend every night ravishing her endlessly, trying new things, and exploring.. but she wants none of it. Just basic missionary, and other than some finger foreplay, thats it. She climaxes almost every time, with no issues.. perhaps thats why.. I don't know.. Once.. twice a month is all I get. She doesn't even masturbate.

I'd never cheat on her.. I couldn't. I've tried to talk to her.. after the kids were born and she was lactating.. that was the most crazy and wonderful thing that there had ever been.. it was amazing! I asked she if she missed it.. an absolute no was the answer. No quirks, no fantasies.

I created this account as a way of venting.. to vent about my life using numbers to represent the people in it, and keeping them anonymous.. I am Zero, She is One, the kids are Two and Three.

One is a rock, the most solid person I've ever met.. the foundation of my erratic and wild dreaming. Shes level headed and stable under almost any condition.. the only times I've EVER seen her cry over the years was when she thought she was hurting me, or couldn't provide something for me. I can't keep asking.. I can't keep prodding.. its not her.. It would devistate her to know how fucked up I am inside.. how much I want to do, the things I want to explore, to talk about, to do to people, to have done to me..

So here I am.. As happy in love as a man can be, except for this one hole.. that feels bottomless, and I'm ashamed, feeling like I'm some fucked up monster, with no one to tell... telling her would break her heart.

Fuck.. getting choked up just thinking about this.

Anyway.. don't think you wanted a sob story, I guess its not really. I REALLY am happy over all, it just.. sucks.

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