But...

gonna punch

Ok, like literally?

his lyin dog faced pony soldier

Is this one noun, two, or more?

lights out

Ok... see 'punch'. I guess literally. Maybe.

take his boots

So... doesn't he wear loafers or wingtips? So confused...

put them in the ham smoking room.

But... I thought the boots smoke? Why is the ham here? What exactly is a 'ham smoking room'? Isn't that just a smokehouse? And why would he put his 'boots' there if the boots aren't smoked?

I suspect this is a secret code of some sort from a cabal of drug smuggling aliens using political metaphors to coordinate orchestras of discordant trolls. It's like ... Volgon poetry. Madness!