S/o and I discussed this. She's a bright girl in Uni. Together a year.

I haven't been in a monogamous mindset since I was a teenager (mid to late 20s now), but cared enough about a person to want to remain involved with them. I still don't feel monogamous, but I maintain it for the sake of the relationship.

I discussed urges and impulses I had on a purely physical and mental level (ie: spreading the seed, dominance, genetic validation) that I had for random women, potentially men (though I've never had a gay experience). I explained that I have an exclusive emotional connection to her, and that my emotional state is the only part of myself I consider to be monogamous. This is inherently true for me, I can't emotionally develop for more than one person at a time. I give that person my love and my care, and devote myself to helping better them, and helping them better themselves.

This was tough to talk about, because generally speaking most consider people who do this to be selfish or pieces of shit. I don't think I'm that person, I was just discussing what's going on with me internally.

I told her, though, that I'm 100% for equality, and feel that ideal relationships are very much 50/50. I wouldn't want to do something to her that I wouldn't want done to me. I wouldn't want her to be or feel disrespected. Like the OP picture, I felt that if she were with someone else, it would sincerely upset me. I understood how hypocritical this was, but nevertheless it was just the way I felt.

I think people seek out others outside their relationships for different reasons. I think generally speaking, there may be differences between genders as to why each of us do this and what we're looking for. For me personally, it's part physical, part mental, and never emotional. I think for some women, it might be different, but I imagine many of them would share my perspective for themselves.

We discussed it for a bit and I left her to think about it. I wasn't demanding anything and said that I didn't have a problem staying monogamous as it generally makes for a smoother relationship that started out monogamous.

She came back and said that she thinks it would be different if she personally saw someone else on the side casually. I didn't dive into why, but generally I think I understood. I don't believe either of us are emotionally, physically, or intellectually devoid of something in our relationship. We very much stimulate each other on these fronts. I personally deal with these impulses that I do subside, but would like to discuss and figure out. If I'm biologically being told something, I should try and figure that into social parameters (so long as it's not at anyone elses expense).

We've gotten into detail. She basically wants to stay informed. So that she knows I'm doing as I say and not trying to hide anything, but trying to navigate what's going on internally. I have no reason to hide it, I am very open.

We discussed this some months ago. To date, I haven't seen anyone else. I've been prompted but declined. The emotional side of me still feels as though it would hurt her, despite her saying otherwise, totally understanding, and being completely non-possessive. I may try it in order to better understand my feelings and impulses. I don't totally believe in monogamy, but I haven't found an agreeable alternative either, so I would like to explore that frontier.

Sorry for this 3500 character post. This was a really intimate topic my girlfriend and I discussed at length and near every post in this thread is completely shitting on anyone who does this or thinks this way. Yours was the only one to at least play devils advocate.