Does anybody else feel like they don't want to know if they're trans? Like you are in a limbo and don't want to get out.

Because if I'm trans, I'm gonna have to deal with transphobic behaviour and that's terrifying, coupled with the fact that my dysphoria is not that severe (I only dislike facial and body hair, short hairstyles and general body "flatness" -- none of which are serious indicatives that I might be trans), I feel I'm being disrespectful to actual trans people.

On the other hand, if I turn out to be a cis guy, I'll be extremely disappointed. Like I'm letting go something I really enjoyed. Like you weren't trash before but you still lose the possibility of being a better version of yourself

So between choosing to feel scared/fake and disappointed, I just avoid the topic altogether and just soldier on.