The fact is the narcissist in your life is not going to change and no one's going to save you. Think twice before you waste your life trying to fix an unfixable relationship.

Sure. What I meant was you have those good parents who do everything right. Love their kids, encourage them to do better, and when they fuck up try to get them the help they need.

Even behind the scenes the parents try really hard to make things go right. I'll use my grandfather as an example. He's not an nparent. Never was. He worked hard all the time, was there for my ndad, aunt, and uncle (uncle is the baby brother for the family). He was only hard on them enough for them to realize they had the potential to do much more.

He loved them unconditionally. Even when my ndad fucked up (and he fucked up big time) my grandfather would drop everything to come help. He would send out a check, give you a phone call, and just....BE THERE when you needed him. He was there for me whenever I needed him, and even yelled at his wife (an ngrandma, but not related by blood to me or anyone else in the family. My grandfather had divorced my grandma Vicky a while back whose my ndad's mother) about treating me badly.

My grandpa tried every approach with my ndad growing up. Who ends up coming out alright? My uncle. The baby brother. Even my aunt is an narcissist. Her and my ndad ganged up on my uncle after the death of my grandfather. It was horrible...

Sorry for the long reply. But do you get what I mean? And it's okay. I didn't make my statement very clear. But my point being you have those parents who just....they throw their heart and soul into their kids. They make every sacrifice, listen to their children when they're in pain, recognize them as people, and just want to know what THEY can do as a parent to make it better.

And the nkid will go off and.....well, screw everything up despite knowing better. Granted, I know there are a lot of small details that go on beneath the surface when it comes to home life. I've seen both sides of the spectrum. I just.....I can't put it into words. Apologies.

/r/raisedbynarcissists Thread