Family disputes - help please

In my situation my mother and my husbands mother were always polite to each other’s faces and then we’d spend the next few weeks of them talking badly about each other to us - it got too much for us in the end and we don’t do big family birthday parties. They are welcome to come over and celebrate on any day they choose apart from the actual birthday where we just stay as our household and go out for a day out or a meal! Birthday parties are with school friends so no need for grandparents to be there, saved us a lot of stress!!

In your situation I’d be more tempted to just tell your in-laws to cut it out though, it’s not fair for your mum to be punished if she’s being civil!

/r/Parenting Thread