American here who just moved to Germany in May. Maybe I can help allay some fears and concerns.

If you're looking for an apartment, try www.immobilienscout24.de

If you're coming here on a spousal visa because of your husband, the immigration office could possibly help with learning German. For me, as part of my integration, they gave me permission to take German classes at half the original price (195€ vs 400€ or so). I'm currently at A2.2 level and will start B1 in the fall.

For children, that's, of course, to your preference. There are so many schools every where here so it would probably be easy to find one that would enroll on short notice. I'll add that there are also many, many activities for children to choose from. I have my two year old son enrolled in Musikschule, for example.

The idea that Germans are stoic and not friendly is dated, I think. Many people make small talk just as we do in the States. The neighbors smile and say hi or morning and some don't say anything.

I can't answer all of your questions or concerns but if you have any questions for someone who moved here from the States, you can PM me if you want and I'll try to help with any other things you can think of